Calm Maddness

For some reason, I feel that I have to write about my Sisters.

Sometimes, I feel that we come to common grounds about our living circumstances, my sisters and I. They are the one closest to me in age so I expect that they feel the same way I do. But now I am realizing that they only feel the same way I did when I was their age but obviously, or difference in gender and place in the family gives us very different view points.

I remember when I was their age and I didn't understand what it meant to be part of a family. No. For me, it wasn't that I only didn't understand but I didn't want to be part of my current family. I resented the name and the responsibilities that I didn't bring upon myself willingly in my family. Regardless, I had to carry out duties and take responsibilities of being the oldest of many.

But I look upon my sisters now and all they do is give excuses and make themselves distant from the family. As if their goal is to be strangers in a household they is more or less their own. I guess looking back on it now, I felt that way before but I still helped out around the house, to help with the generalized mechanics of life at home, or to just keep the peace.

And the worst part is that my mother is not only supporting the idea, she instigated it. She believes that because she is miserable because of my father that the boys have to be miserable as well. So I am equally as upset with her as I am with my sisters but my sisters have the choice to make their own choice.

And it looks like they made it.

I don't know, I guess I just wish that they cared ... just a little more about family.

But who am I, but a mirror image of their behavior.

I saw Heroes last night.

And I dream again.

Happy Birthday indigoskynet

But since I've been over loaded with work, do you mind waiting a little for your birthday sketch?

Your results:
You are Batman

Batman 85% Hulk 85% Catwoman 65% Robin 52% Superman 50% Spider-Man 45% Green Lantern 45% The Flash 40% Iron Man 30% Supergirl 27% Wonder Woman 12%

You are dark, love gadgets and have vowed to help the innocent not suffer the pain you have endured.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...

Hey Guys and Gals. It has been a long time since my last entry and I have been busy!

Hal spent a lot of time with me in the few last days at home. We chilled and talked a lot. It really helped me feel a lot easier about going to college. Obviously, my 'parental units' don't really care beyond academics. He was so cool that he was going to lend me one of his guitars but there was a complication and it was postponed. Damn.
It would have been hard to conceal anyways.

But now that I am here, I am back into the swing of acedemic achievements. So further entries will most likely be friends only.

But I do want to thank everyone that kept in touch with me during my little bump of my academic career. ^_^ And all those in MII. I will hope that the community will continue to grow and prosper!

I only have a few things to say:

( Evanescence and The Rise of the Imperfects )

( Sibling Rivalry )

( Packing Away Memories )

( One Last Time )

Well, that is it for now. Now off to continue waiting for the day I get to start my life over again. Oh~ I'm so excited!

Well some of you guys and gals might know by now but I have decided to go to Clarion University. I think it is a temporary location until I get my feet back on the ground to transfer elsewhere with a larger name recogntion. I might transfer to Drxel (my current number one choice right now) or Penn State or University of Pittsburgh or even Widener when I resolve that financial gap. But, for now, Clarion is going to be my base of operation. This time around, I am going to try to manage my time a lot better than with the last few semesters of Widener.

And even though I am content with my own plan, my 'parents' are trying very hard to make things difficult for me. Just this morning, after being accepted and going through this who progress, they want to still suggest that I don't go to Clarion because it is majority white. The crap I have to put up with.

Well, I have about less than a week so I should try to deal with it until then. Then I get to read for a while without this so-called family and concentrate on what I really want to do and not what I think I want to do. I realize I think a lot more than I do and I want that to change. I think I am going to start listening to my gut feeling and stop trying to anaylsis too much. Who knows, I might even make something out of myself at Clarion and move on from there.

Other than that, I am trying to organize my life. Thoughts of Queen obviously still creep into my head and I miss her tremenously. But I am starting to slowly (very slowly) begin to realize that there is no way to get her back by myself. I said this before, I am sure. But the more I am able to come to terms with it, the more I am able to pick myself up and continue to move forward.

In other news, I am constantly thinking of MII and what I can do to help it grow. I also am starting to connect with the members more which is in turn, giving me ideas and things to help it progress. I am about to post another assignment before I leave so MII members, look out and prepare to take a deeper, darker look into yourself.

That is it for now.
More later.

If anyone has had a dream about me recently please post a comment about it. I am testing out a theory.

I have actually been productive in the few past weeks so I‘ll write about it. I still can't drive but that is because finding someone to take me down without spending money is difficult. Very difficult. I do not know when I'll get around to it because school starts soon.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, contrary to popular believe a few months ago, I was able to get myself into not just one but two institutions of higher education: Lincoln and Clarion. It took me a while to inform the people that I live with but I think they were excited to learn that I wasn't a complete failure as was they thought I was.

( More On College Here )

( I've finally beaten KINGDOM HEARTS II )

( Oh, and my siblings broke my DDR Extreme Disc )

Well, that seems to be all I want to write about for now. If there is anything else that I want to write about then I’ll probably post it friends only because it might be more personal than I want the general public to bore with.

I have to make a public apology. For the past 24 hours or so, I have been abnormally horny and I cannot exactly explain why. Yes I am a male and it is normal (even expected) but for the most part, I tend to be able to control my alpha male sex drive. And Cowgirl continuously keeps telling me, 'building up' such urges can be unhealthy, and the last 24 hours is proof that sometimes, even I cannot control my animal like insticts.

So I have to apologize for the people whom I've sent IMs to exclaiming my sexual dilemma. Sam, Ten, Cowgirl, Lori, Z and probably more. Gosh, I feel so embarassed that I got so out of control. I usually am able to keep things like this in check. Must be the unbearable heat recently. But that is just an excuse. I'll have to work harder next time.

And yet, it isn't over. During my Crazed Sex-apade, I wrote a sex story. Yeah, I know. Me sex story? Impossible. I thought so anyway. Until I read it after the sex spell was lifted and ... well, I'll let you be the judge of my material.

Warning!!!
This material is not meant for children under the age of 18. Even those over said age might blush with the material about to be read. If you seriously feel you can handle it, then please, read at your own risk - and comment! If it is a success (aka a lot of comments), then I might continue the story the next time the sex moon is full ... or something.

The Result of my Horniness